Mother’s Day is a celebration of the valuable role mothers play in the lives of their children and is a time to pause and connect with family. It can also be a time to reflect on what it really means to be a mother. It’s no secret that mothers juggle a long list of responsibilities and with this often comes a sense of pressure to be an ‘amazing’ or ‘inspiring’ mother, a ‘superwoman’ of sorts. Knowing how important they are to their children can sometimes bring up feelings of guilt and self-blame for mothers in those inevitable moments when they feel they have fallen short of the ‘Super Mother’ standard. In these times, the most important thing for mothers to remember is this truth:
Being ‘Good Enough’ is Enough
No this is not a cop out, nor is it a lie. Decades of research has shown that children do not need the ‘perfect parent’; all they need are parents who are ‘good enough’. The ‘good enough’ parent is attuned to their children much of the time and can meet their children’s emotional needs much of the time, not all of the time. This means that….get ready for it…..
It is OK to make mistakes!
In fact, your children need you to make mistakes sometimes, to get it wrong sometimes, in order for them to learn to make peace with mistakes, including their own. Taking the pressure of the ‘perfect parent’ off yourself can make a world of difference for your own wellbeing and your family will be better off with a more relaxed and happy mother. The most important thing is that ruptures in the relationship with your children are repaired and that your children can trust that their relationship with you will come back in tune.
Learning how to build a secure relationship with your children can be incredibly helpful and rewarding if you are feeling a little lost. The Circle of Security Parenting program is designed to develop parents’ understanding of their children’s emotional needs and strengthen the security of their relationship with them. It’s about seeing what is so often hidden in plain sight; what your child really needs from you. It doesn’t aim to create ‘perfect parents’ because the ‘good enough’ parent is enough.
Young Minds Health and Development Network is offering the Circle of Security Parenting group program in July 2017 at both our Stafford and Redcliffe clinics. If you would like to enrich your relationship with your child, please enquire about the program by calling 3857 0074 or emailing email@example.com
On this Mother’s Day, amongst any heartfelt gifts you receive from family, be sure to give yourself another valuable gift; the permission to make mistakes and simply be ‘good enough’. Your kids will love you for it.